Shout Out to my sister-in-law

1 Jul

During the last 2 weeks, I have had the great fortune of spending time with family and most intensely with my almost 6 and almost 7 year old nieces from Montana. They stayed with us while their mom and dad worked. I couldn’t be more impressed with these little ladies. As sad as we are to see them go back home, I was excited to get to this post and write about what a truly wonderful job my sister-in-law is doing as a motherless mom. Her mother, who would have been (I can only assume based on knowing her for a few years) a wonderful mother-in-law, would be SO proud. Her mom died when she was just 16.  She was a huge presence in the family’s life: orchestrating celebrations, gatherings, travel. While the family does not dwell on the sadness, she has been sorely missed; largely for her warmth, generosity and style. I could go on….

I am just thrilled to see her daughter thrive as a mother, loving her life with her daughters and husband. And, her daughters are the fun, spirited, respectful, gracious and stylish girls their grandmother would relish.  It’s a great tribute to her that a few of us have remarked about her grandaughters’ genetic link to her personality. I often say (and people easily agree), that my daughter’s great sense of style comes directly from her paternal grandma!

But, it’s not all nature. I firmly believe that nurture plays a key role. It is obvious in my sister-in-law’s certain je ne sais quoi that she received more than enough of both.

What genetic links, even subtle personality traits, do you see in your children? What parenting techniques do you think you’ve inherited from your mom? Doesn’t all of that help keep our moms in our lives?


2 Responses to “Shout Out to my sister-in-law”

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster July 2, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Li’l D’s still so young I’m seeing only the smallest of things, but in his looks of focus and chagrin I see myself and my mom. In certain smiles, I think, “That’s exactly the kind of smile you gave Mom, that made her mirror it back!”

    When Li’l D sleeps, he looks so much like my mom. It’s like a chance to glimpse a little her, which I relish.

    The thing I try most to adopt from my mom’s parenting was her standing back and letting us learn some lessons for ourselves. She’d be there to kiss us and make us feel better, but she felt an important part of learning and becoming confident/independent was learning that neither falling nor failing would be the end of the world. More than just about anything else (apart from her insistence on hoping, and laughing, no matter how dire the circumstance), this was the most important lesson she taught her children.

  2. kianys September 12, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    I really can’t answer your question, because I am not a mother yet however I still felt compelled to comment. Being a motherless daughter myself and actually dreading having a family of my own b/c I feel unprepared to mother (I want to more than anything else in the world, but it scares me to death) I was really touched by your post. I think what your sister in law has done and is doing is incredible. I really wished I would be able to talk to her and get some pointers as to how she is so confident (and she must be to do such a marvelous job). Motherless daughters growing into motherless mothers is such a huge (at least in Germany where I live) vastly unrecognised issue. It’s sad. I recently started my own blog here in search of other motherless daughters who I might be able to relate too. Thank you so much for sharing this. It gives me hope for my own future as a motherless mother. Blessings to you and your family,

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