The Offer to Help

5 Jun

Who notices you are drowning and throws you a life-preserver? Drowning in stress, that is. I sometimes feel selfish in wishing my mom was here–for me. If you’ve read my posts you know how sad I am that she did not have the chance to enjoy her grandchildren and adult companionship with her daughters…. But, I also readily admit that I wish my mom could help me! I was reminded of this wish today when a friend expressed sadness and even anger that her mother is unable to help her. My friend feels a desperate need to get away for a night with her husband and asked her mother to stay with her children overnight. One problem inherent in this scenario is that her mother did not reach out to her. More than anything, she wanted her mother or husband to notice her stress and offer help. Imagine how comforted you would feel if someone close to you said, “Wow, you seem stressed lately. Maybe you’re feeling crazed from work or from the kids. What you need is to get away…..” Just that remark would make you feel better, right? And, certainly from there you could use your mom’s, husband’s or friend’s help to plan the stress-relieving get-away.

Luckily, as I have said in previous posts, I have some people in my life who do notice and offer to help. But, a mom is just so uniquely “there for you.” , She most likely is free of huge responsibilities—no other children at home, possibly retired,… If your mom is not able to or simply not the right person to work with you, who is watching out for you? Which of your friends will throw you a life-preserver? Will they offer first or wait for you to ask?

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3 Responses to “The Offer to Help”

  1. stacey June 5, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    I totally agree, there is no one else on earth who is as reliable as my mother was, (to come to my rescue) and I know not to expect it from anyone.

  2. Deborah the Closet Monster June 6, 2011 at 12:40 am #

    This was an excellent reminder to be grateful for what I have in Ba.D. He actively monitors me for signs I’m getting too stressed, and urges me to take time out to counter that. I think that’s part of what made my birthday in D.C. possible. When the thought crossed my mind, I already knew that Ba.D. would say, “GO! I have the baby!” if I asked him about that. And, indeed, that was almost exactly what he said.

    That two-day trip was a godsend. I cherished spending the birthday I share with my mom in a new place, for a crazy, awesome event, and even better? I cherished my son all the more when I returned home, knowing that no matter how it might feel like I’m alone sometimes, I’m really not. I’m grateful for that. Ba.D. will never be my mom (which is fortunate, when put that way!) but . . . he really, really is great at reminding me to get out there and do what it takes to stay both sane and happy.

  3. Deborah the Closet Monster June 6, 2011 at 12:40 am #

    Didn’t subscribe to comments, oops!

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