Jabs

17 Mar

A friend’s disappointment, described to me today, made me wonder: How do our mom’s comments affect us, while they are here with us and after they are gone?

This friend had a typical story. Her mother made a positive comment, followed by a sarcastic remark. “You did so well. I’m so impressed. And, I’m so surprised.” Wow, she couldn’t just end with the first sentence? It made me think about how good moms are at chastising their daughters—myself, as a mom, included. We sometimes know just how to push those clichéd buttons. While I occasionally recall the cutting censures my mom made, I have not had to experience them in 17 years. By now, it might be obvious that I would prefer to endure those remarks, any and all remarks, if my mom could be here to make them. But, since she is not, have I become less sensitive? I do think that I try to curtail these comments, but I am still guilty of making them.

If our mom is gone, do we forget how it feels to be the recipient? While this highly hormonal mother/daughter banter can be considered “normal,” it is not acceptable. How do we, as mothers and daughters, avoid these jabs?

 

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